When your child won't say sorry, here's what's actually going on
A child who won't say sorry is usually not refusing to care, he's flooded with shame and hasn't yet built the perspective-taking a genuine apology requires. Repair matters more than the word itself, and it works best once the storm has passed, not in the heat of the moment.
A child who won't say "sorry" usually isn't refusing to care. More often, he's flooded with shame in the moment, and the part of him that could truly step into someone else's hurt hasn't finished growing yet. What helps isn't the word itself, it's a real repair, offered once things have calmed down.
What's really happening
Watching "sorry" turn into panic, playing the victim, or laughing it off is unsettling. It's easy to read it as a character flaw. It usually isn't. Truly feeling someone else's hurt takes a skill called theory of mind, and at this age that skill is still under construction. On top of that, shame doesn't open a child up, it shuts him down. So the moment you most want remorse is often the moment his defenses go up instead.
Tonight you can
Name what happened and what the other person felt, in one short sentence. Something like, "You grabbed the truck, and she felt sad." No request for an apology yet, just the facts, said plainly.
Offer a repair he can actually do. Handing the toy back, fetching the ice pack, something with his hands, not the word "sorry." A real action often reaches a child when a demanded word can't.
Come back to it once he's calm. His thinking brain isn't available while he's still flooded, so trying to teach or reason in the heat of the moment tends to land nowhere. Wait for the storm to pass, then talk it through.
What not to worry about
Struggling to apologize at this age reflects a still-developing brain, not a developing character. It isn't a sign that your warmth or your teaching hasn't landed. This is age, not evidence of anything you've done or failed to do.
When to seek help
There's nothing here that signals a need for outside help. This is part of how young children grow.